Jan. 15th, 2006

as I reached the end of another dvd of episodes of the west wing friday night, I realized that sometimes the fact that I can come home and "get my bartlett on" most Friday nights is one of the things that actually gets me out of bed on Friday mornings and gets me to work to bang my head against the wall that is my place in public education today.

in a way it's pathetic - I am such a geek that not only do I spend my days trying to convince 11-year olds that understanding fractions matters to their lives somehow, and my late afternoons and evenings discussing the philosophical distinctions between honors programs, Pre-AP and gifted and talented, but what gets me through those days when I'm banging my head against the wall and wishing that I could get a job at a nice quiet museum somewhere is the thought of retreating to a ridiculously well-researched fantasy world where the man running the country is actually smart enough to be worth listening to.

meanwhile, I can't bear to read to much about the real events of the world, the policies of the real president that we really elected in this country at least once. If I listen too much, watch too much, read too much it makes my spirit shrivel and I don't have the energy to try to mentally wrestle even one 6th grade brain into submission.

and before you say anything, I know, I know that wrestling them into submission is not the best image with which to face the job, but sometimes I just feel like it would take duct tape and frigging nylon ropes to get them to sit still long enough and shut their mouths long enough to actually hear a word I'm saying.

are there kids who want to learn? sure, there are, but some days I feel like most of them are somewhere else besides where I teach. which begs the question, is it me, or is them?

Sometimes this can go overboard - so much so that when my husband told me to "have an exciting day" friday morning, I made him take it back - but when I think of all the hours I spent at previous jobs trying desperately to fight the boredom long enough to get my job done, it is a relief to know that I'll never have to worry about how to keep busy.

Your Social Dysfunction:

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July 2008


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